Short Story: Mistletoe

Rating: 15
Universe: Unravel
Word Count: 99
Summary: There's the conventional place to hang mistletoe, and then there's Alex's.

 “Don’t I get a kiss under the mistletoe?”

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Short Story: Christmas Tree

Rating: 15
Universe: Unnamed Steampunk
Word Count: 2,791
Summary: Niko and Kirill go Christmas tree shopping, but end up meeting people Kirill would sooner forget.

“It’s early enough that it shouldn’t be too crowded, but will you be alright?” Niko asked, twisting to look over his shoulder as he lifted his shirt over his head. “I know you’re still a bit.. with... after...”

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Short Story: Tinsel and Hooks

Rating: PG
Universe: Unnamed Steampunk
Word Count: 1,152
Summary: Kirill asks Niko about Christmas decorations, only to find he has none—except it turns out that's no impediment to actually having any, when your lover is a talented mechanic.

Kirill waited until Niko finished hammering the sheet of metal until he tried speaking, and even then it came out more quietly tentative than he’d hoped. “Um, Niko, where do you keep your Christmas decorations?”

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Short Story: Lost In Translation

Rating: G
Universe: Unnamed Steampunk
Word Count: 340
Summary: A sleepy Kirill would quite like Niko to read to him.

Kirill rolled over and blinked sleepily up at Niko. “What’re you reading?”

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Committing To A Schedule

Or at least trying to...

I'm aware of the fact I've failed to blog consistently for months.  In part this has been due to failing to write anything regularly, part due to NaNoWriMo (I acknowledge that only accounts for a month), a small part due to redecorating--I'd intended to start this earlier this week but apparently painting takes forever and wallpapering half a wall takes a whole day--and part due to sheer laziness, because after everything else I'm knackered.

So I'm going to try to commit to a more regular schedule where Tuesdays, which used to be Meet My Desk days until I ran out of desk for you to meet, will be reviews of stationery (and maybe technology and books) and Fridays will be general blogging days, much like this.

It seems an easy enough schedule to stick to, which probably means you can expect resounding failure!

I won NaNoWrimo for my eleventh year with the Unravel AU, this time set nine years on from my Ridiculous Challenge.  I might even finish this one outside of November as I realised both how to end it--not usually my strong point--and the existence of some unintended plot points along the way.  I also need to finish up the steampunk novella, which is still in desperate need of a name; I'm not sure why I'm having trouble with it as I'm actually on the last section of the whole thing, but there we go.  Maybe I should challenge myself to finish it before the end of the year?

In a desperate attempt to write more regularly I'm intending to resume posting at Runaway Tales (one piece already posted, as well as crossposted to my usual place: "One Step Closer")as well as signing up to niee87's annual "I'll Jingle Your Bells" porn ficathon which I wholly recommend joining, especially if you're shy about writing porn.  I was nervous last year when I signed up and now look at me.

Take that as you will.

So with fingers crossed I'll actually be able to take up posting more regularly, as well as posting more stories.  And on the subject of posting and stories, if you have any opinions (and I know everyone does, even if secretly) on how and where you prefer reading online, please please have a quick look over the wordily-titled "How Do You Prefer To Read Fiction Online?" post, vote and add any comments if you wish.

I think that's about it, so hopefully I'll be seeing you again next Tuesday with a review of the Copic atyouSpica pens!

How Do You Prefer To Read Fiction Online?

How do you prefer to read original fiction?  It's a bit of a random question, made slightly more so by the fact I was halfway around Tesco when I thought of it--which goes to show just how much of my shopping is done on autopilot.

But the more I thought about it (still shopping on autopilot), the more I found myself curious.  I think it was mostly because I was itching to finish up and get home so I could read a short story by a webcomic author I like, but that in turn reminded me that said story is hosted on their SmackJeeves page which has the irritating habit of checking I'm a legal adult too often for my liking--although I suppose having an account might help.  (The story is for the very gorgeous m/m webcomic Devoto: Music In Hell, by the way, and the short story is here.)

I'm way over being a legal adult, for the record.  I don't even get IDed in stores when buying alcohol any more, which makes me sadder than it ought.

That, in turn, made me think about how Dreamwidth displays stories on mobile devices--as I've been using my Nexus 7 to fact-check existing Unravel AU stories with my NaNoWriMo project--and (by this point at the frozens section) I got to wondering about whether people prefer to read stories on blogs like this, on separate sites like Wordpress, Tumblr, Dreamwidth etc., or on their mobile device separately, where they might be able to carry it around with them to, say, read while loitering by the freezers staring blankly at Christmas frozens.

How do you prefer to read original fiction online?
	In a Blogger / Wordpress post
	On Livejournal / Dreamwidth
	On Tumblr
	On Archive Of Our Own (AO3)
	On a different third party site
	As an ePub for convenience
	As a MOBI for convenience
	Some other format / site (please comment)
pollcode.com free polls

I'm one of those irritating people who loves asking obscure questions, so I really do appreciate and love answers.  Basically, I'd love to hear from you.  If I've not listed a way that you use / prefer, please tell me.  Whether it makes an immediate difference to how I post is another matter--I'm notoriously lazy, I'm afraid--but I'm definitely interested to find out and it probably will help me (and maybe other people, who knows?) decide how to approach things in the future.

Also, if you have any opinions on colour schemes for online fiction, I'd find those interesting too.  Black text on white background?  White text on black background?  Something that's neither of those on something else that's neither of those?  It's more for personal curiosity, but again it might come in handy somewhere down the line.

Only slightly tangentially I might have some more stories done eventually, for that minority that reads them; yesterday I clocked over 50,000 words in NaNoWriMo and menial chores around the house may have helped me figure out how to finish the story.  That and a challenge to write more in general may actually yield online fiction...

At some point.

Meet My Desk: Celty

You thought I'd run out of these, hadn't you?

You'd be right.  I had.

However!  My little technological family expanded recently, so I'd like to introduce you all to my new Windows Surface tablet, Celty.

Celty was originally called Shizuo, mostly due to the fact that I'm unsure if it comes under the heading of laptop or tablet--most larger technical items are male, small ones like Lydia and Lucy are (surprise surprise) female.  But after using her for a while, I've concluded that she's female, thus necessitating a name change.  (I'll admit here that I couldn't actually tell you why she's female, she just... feels it, so female she now is.  Hey, I never claimed to be entirely sane, did I?  ...did I?)

I recommend DRRR!!, even if you're not normally a fan of anime.

As to why 'Celty', well... that's quite a hard one to explain, but let's just say she makes an admirable headless horsewoman, she's silent to run (but no occasional neighing or hoofsteps unless I start modifying the sounds) and she's very fast for typing on.  She can certainly stand up for herself, as can the tablet as it has one built in (hey, I never claimed to be a pun master).  Whether she emanates a shadowy substance... well, perhaps that depends on your opinion of Microsoft.

It's been an interesting experience trying to get the hang of Windows 8.1 RT, especially since it's already quite different to the version of Windows RT that comes preinstalled but I'm starting to get used to it now... I think.

The biggest surprise has been, of all things, how easy it is to type with the on-screen keyboard, I wasn't expecting to be able to reach the kind of speeds I do although I'm not sure how it'd be to use with longer nails.  Probably a little problematic, like Lydia the Nexus.  However, the touch keyboard is nice too, albeit a little odd--and yet I'm not sure how it is, because it's only like typing on the screen, but I suspect I keep expecting it to feel like an actual, physical keyboard like Sixteen's, rather than for it to be flat.

I'm looking forward to getting to know her better, but I think it's already been a pretty good meeting so far.

Even if I have already discovered my new procrastination fuel in the form of Taptiles.

Still, can't be all work, can it?

I Had An Epiphany (but don't worry, I cleaned up afterwards)

I did say that I expected to get over my disappointment in myself and my story.  It just took a little longer than I expected.

Well, no, that's not entirely the case.  It's still there, chewing away at my heart.  But I remembered something important.

I'm not intending to show anyone this story so that feeling can sod right off.  Following on from one of the posts I linked to before, it's my story and I'll write what I damn well like, even if it is atrocious.  I can always edit later, I can pretty it up and fix the awkward phrasing.

But I can't do any of that if I don't finish it.

And on that note, since no one else is going to see it, I realised something else--I don't have to censor myself as much as I have.  I'm not sure why I was, honestly.  Some peculiar in-built sense of... decorum?  Gods only know.  But it's quite liberating to know I can now go back to some earlier scenes and make them smuttier.

Or, as I referred to it on Twitter earlier, "racier" (a sure sign I'm getting old).

What brought about this little revelation, other than moping around and whinging for a couple of days?  Nothing complicated, just that after changing my icon I wanted a new background for my Twitter page, so I decided to make a more relevant one using my main character, Kirill.  After I'd finished working on it and loaded it, I thought he looked lonely, so I reworked it to include Niko, Kir's love interest.  Working on that and thinking about their relationship gave me the kick up the arse I needed to miss writing them.

Bit of an odd thing to drag me to my senses, I guess.  Well, it was that and the sex scenes I won't be able to write if I don't get cracking, because it turns out that Niko has taken quite a liking to Kir...

Anyway, isn't the point to have fun, above anything else?  I'm not going to let someone else spoil or take away my fun--especially not when in the future it gets to involve some light bondage and ridiculously cute conversations smack in the middle of sex...

*fans self*

If you'll excuse me, I've got a project to finish.

Don't Let Accusatory 'Advice' Put You Off, Editing Exists For A Reason

On Friday, having reached my unofficial word count target for the day, I was faffing around (yes that is a technical term) on Twitter when out of idle curiosity I clicked on one of the many 'advice for writers' tweets that crop up on my timeline.  I mean, it's always good to learn, right?

Except it wasn't advice, per se.  The general tone of it was more along the lines of "if you do this, then you are an appalling writer and should stop bothering everyone right now".

I looked at that post.  And then I looked at my WIP, which for a few different reasons--most notably that chunks of it were quite hard to write and sometimes writing anything is better than writing nothing--has a few examples of that post in it, and my first and overwhelming thought was: "so I'm wasting my time writing this shit.  I should never be allowed near a keyboard again."

I stared at the WIP that until then I'd actually enjoyed working on and was quite looking forward to writing two characters meeting for the first time, and I stared at it for a bit longer...  and then I closed it, watched most of an episode of Being Human (the one where Annie and George rescue Mitchell from the funeral parlour, if you're interested*) and went to bed feeling like I should spend the next day trying to find something else to do for a hobby.

Considering that I have the attention span of a mayfly I'd hoped, just a little, that when I woke up the next morning I'd have forgotten how I felt and could get on with writing.  Except that I couldn't.  I prodded the keys for a bit and thought, "stop wasting your time," and opened Chrome instead.  After all, I've done NaNoWriMo for ten years now and I've never finished any of those, so what's one more unfinished piece of shite that won't ever see the light of day?

While I was faffing (still a technical term) on Twitter I saw two tweets linking to blog posts come up in quick succession.  One was Clare Davidson's Writing Without Compromise which, although not directly relating to how I felt, is a fantastic post about how sticking to what you want to write is much better for your sanity than trying to write what you think someone else expects of you.  The other was one of Steve Poling's excellent advice posts (the one that caught my eye was about Cardboard Cutout characters), which mix in humour and anecdotes with their food for thought.  More importantly, his advice is never accusatory or makes you feel worthless; if anything, it inspires you to try new ideas or things you might not have thought of.

Something that crops up on my Twitter timeline now and again is the paraphrased quote attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt, "no one can make you feel inferior without your consent".  Stupidly, I gave that article consent and I suspect it'll probably be a while before I can look at my WIP and my plan and not feel the urge to cry.

Don't make the mistake I did.  Different approaches are for different people and if you find 'advice' that's more interested in making you feel bad than inspiring you to improve, ignore it.  Mentally tell the author exactly what you think of them.  Close the page.  Just don't give it permission to put you off.  Even if, like me, you write for fun not profit, because the characters in your head are restless and writing calms them down, and the finished result isn't ever likely to be seen by anyone...

Everyone can improve, yes, but there is a reason editing exists.  Write as badly as you want in your first draft, so long as you write--you can't improve on nonexistence.  And don't hurt yourself reading anything that rubbishes your work and takes away your enjoyment of writing for a smidge of advice.

You're worth a lot more than that.

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* Favourite quote: "Who wants some of my chair?!" as said by George, brandishing one at a vampire.  Perhaps that's what I should've yelled at that post and just got on with writing, eh?

I'm Due That Kick, Consider It A Present

Last week I talked about how we're all allowed to write crap, and in fact writing crap is preferable to writing nothing.

I also--foolishly in hindsight--said that if I hadn't written 5,000 words or more in a week, said people were free to hunt me down and give me a kick.  (Please don't kick me too hard.)

I wrote around 1,200 words, and then started replaying Dragon Age 2.  I have edited several lines several times however (yes I know...), and at least did make a couple of things a bit clearer.  My main character is not in the best situation ever at this point in the story and my brain, my fingers or my heart (I'm not sure which, it might be all three) is/are rebelling at what is going to happen.

Kirill's life is about to become difficult and although things will get better afterwards, I'm stuck at my last line: "Everything was as it should be."  Something in my head illogically insists that if I leave it there, the bad stuff won't happen.  Of course, if I leave it there the good stuff won't happen either and my main character will be trapped in an awful limbo, believing something terrible has happened to the man he's fallen in love with without anything ever being proved or disproved.

Which, I think we can all agree, is a Bad Thing.

And, although I have no direct evidence to show for it, I'm starting to feel more confident in the relationship between Kirill and Niko.  An important part to my characters for me--although it may sound a bit odd--is how they interact in my head when I'm not thinking much about them; for instance, Alex and Milos have a near-constant stream of bickering that occasionally leads to sex that crops up at the strangest times.  For quite a while I'd had absolutely nothing from Kirill and Niko, which was concerning.  And then I accidentally wrote fluffy almost-smut based on nothing more than a scene prompt and realised that actually they do get along.  And then an actual sex-scene occurred in my head--I've not gotten around to writing it down yet--and suddenly I'm feeling a lot happier about the whole thing.

But at least my Dragon Age replay has been going quite well...  In some ways I can consider it research, because at some point last year I started hearing my character Alex's voice as Gideon Emery's (the voice of Fenris).  Make it slightly softer and more Midlands-English and it's a perfect fit for him, so I'm topping up my memories.

See?  It's not all bad.

(As an aside, I'm 30 today.  So at least for today I hope I have an excuse for not writing!)

"You're Allowed To Write Crap"

I have to keep reminding myself of this, because I forget and then I just keep editing a sentence or two until I'm satisfied with it... and then I'll go away, then come back and edit them again.  Which is ironic really, because I vary wildly between editing until it's as dry as dust, and hammering it out in one big blast, checking for errors and the worst examples of repetition and then booting it out into the wild.

I am allowed to write crap.

Because writing pages and pages of crap is better than having one nicely polished sentence.  There's a lot more you can do with those pages than with that one perfect, isolated line.

I've managed to find things to do instead of writing.  I have a very nice village in Animal Crossing, for instance.  I've listened to all 28 podcast episodes of Welcome to Night Vale (12 hours and 2 minutes), during which no writing could occur because you have to actually listen to them, not do something that'll distract you and mean you need to rewind.  I sketched and inked a fairly rough picture of Kirill (it's not procrastinating if it's drawing the character you're supposed to be writing about, surely).  I've moved pallets around (the big ones, not the painting ones), taken the dogs for a walk, spent time on the treadmill in my desperate bid to lose some weight...

I've just done everything but writing.  And when I do sit in front of my Works document--don't laugh, I've been using it for 16 years now and the only other thing I'm comfortable with is Abiword; I'm well aware that's abnormal--I just edit the last sentence I wrote.

So... this time next week, if I've not written 5,000 words (or, ideally, more), you have permission to hunt me down and give me a quick kick.

No, I won't tell you where I live...  hey, stop planning the trip already!

So if you're struggling too, remember this.  You are allowed to write crap.  Even if it takes ages to do it, even if you've spend 12 hours being distracted by a voice, at some point sit down, stop worrying and start writing.  We can save the editing for later...  and then really go to town on it.

Pinup Boy Sunday - Niko Lunen

Postponed from last week due to certain technical hitches, this Sunday it's the turn of Kirill's love interest, legal owner and unintended rescuer, Nikolai Lunen.

Niko is a 29-year-old engineer, mechanic and alchemist with an affable, if somewhat solitary demeanour.  He lived alone in a small manor in an upmarket part of the city until Kirill came to live with him, and makes a living by working on constructing mechanical and alchemical commissions.

He enjoys reading, working and music (sometimes both at the same time), and enjoys taking care of Kirill.  He dislikes the practice of slavery and isn't quite sure how he ended up with one, although suspects a soft heart is a bad thing to take to an auction.

Kuretake Zig Cocoiro Letter Pen - Follow-Up Post

I wrote about my first impressions of the pretty Cocoiro pens on the 23rd June... not that long ago, in fact.  But since just over a week has passed, I thought a follow-up post might be fun.

Mostly because I loved them so much, I went and bought more (and completed my atyouSpica collection at the same time)!

My preciousssss...

Having managed to lure the always-lovely Danni into trying out the pens too, reading her comments about how the Hoarfrost White case looked made me curious... so I think we can chalk up another victory to her, because it's right there in the photo, along with Kiwi and Sunflower.

I actually would have ordered these sooner, but I had to wait for first the Kiwi, then the Sunflower, to come back into stock at Cult Pens--waited very impatiently, I might add; you don't want to know how many times I refreshed that page even when I knew it was futile (i.e. about six times on Sunday... just in case!).

One thing Danni mentioned was how pretty the Hoarfrost shell looked with the Rose Pink ink inside, so I decided to have a peek and I have to agree.

The white has a subtle sparkle that I completely failed to capture.

I'd initially only planned to get two extra cases to cover the refills I'd bought, but after I used the blue-black to handwrite part of a story and give my writer's block a kick in the groin (moderate success), I became curious about how a black brush nib would perform as an inking pen.

Bad photo; using my scanner would mean a blood sacrifice.

Turns out the answer is "far better than I could've hoped".  They do indeed relax the more you use them and because they're comfortable to hold it's easier to focus on the lines.  It holds up well against a putty eraser (always good) and you can get some good line thicknesses from it--but it really excels at very fine lines without needing to swap to another pen.  I'm really happy with the results.

Now I'm just hoping that Kuretake release the six colours that don't currently seem available in the UK... because how could I possibly resist a choice that includes orange and green??

Kuretake Zig Cocoiro Letter Pen - First Impressions

I normally tweet about new stationery I've been 'encouraged' to buy (I know some truly evil enablers on Twitter!), but when the jiffy bag with my new Cocoiro letter pens arrived, I knew I'd be taking more than one or two photos.  Whittling it down to these was... fun.

The problem with following Cult Pens on Twitter is that it's an incredibly easy route to spending money--particularly where my friends are concerned.  And when Cult Pens tweeted about the Cocoiro pens I was curious enough to and have a look.  I didn't bank on promptly falling in love with either the choice of shell colours or the fact they have mint green and rose pink inks.  After some humming and hawing I finally splurged on two shells in my favourite colours, three brush pen refills and an ever-practical black rollerball refill.

They arrived today in an A5 padded envelope and the first thing that struck me was that they were a little smaller than I was expecting, although to be honest I'm not wholly sure what I was expecting.  From base to cap the shell is around 11.2cm.  I chose shells in Duckegg Blue and Green Apple (neither of which have any justice done to them in my photos as the weather is a bit iffy here and my camera is moody), both of which are lovely.  The blue in particular is a very pretty and delicate shade and I'm already considering buying a couple more to go with my additional refills.

The refills come with their own protective caps which don't fit with the pen once they're combined so can probably be thrown away unless you've got more refills than pens, and a brush protector for the brush pens.  Being the kind of person who doesn't read instructions--which are provided on both the letter pen and refill packets--I did have a short struggle with figuring out how to add refill to shell (I'm bright like that) until I realised the refills have a thread and you screw them into the base.

Once fit together they look both comical and sweet, a little like they've outgrown their refills, but it is a useful way to see what colour is in which pen at a glance, although I don't imagine it helps you tell the difference between the black ballpoint and black brush pen.

With the body shaped as it is you might expect it to feel a little cumbersome to hold, but in reality it's surprisingly comfortable.  The curve of the shell fits neatly in the curve of your thumb, although the edge of the casing at the bottom might rub against your thumb joint if you're not careful.

The first thing that struck me about the brush pens is that they're more solid than I was anticipating.  They'll probably loosen up with use, but it took a moment to get an unbroken line out of the rose pink.  They write with a beautiful and vivid ink with the colours exactly as advertised.

Apologies for my handwriting. Yes that does say 'rose' and not 'nose'!

I'm looking forwards to experimenting with them and I think if I'm not careful they could end up as a guilty pleasure--or an addiction.  All I need to do now is start hand-writing things more often...

Pinup Boy Sunday - Kirill

It was originally going to be "Sexy Boy Sunday" but... really there's no word less appropriate to describe half my characters, so this is what we're stuck with.

Today and nothing to do with procrastination whatsoever it's the turn of the protagonist of the steampunk story I'm working on, Kirill.

Kirill is a quiet and serious young man whose most distinguishing features are the white streak in the front of his hair and the gold scarring covering a large part of his upper face.  At 24 he has the general demeanour of a man twice his age and, until the riots, was living quietly with Nikolai Lunen, his legal owner and best friend.

He likes nice food, the feel of soft fabrics and the sight of Niko's smile; he dislikes people invading his personal space and the cold.  His favourite place to be is curled up in a chair in Niko's conservatory.

This Hasn't Exactly Gone According To Plan

On the 1st July I started Camp NaNoWriMo.  Well, technically I started it.  Just like the title says, it's... not exactly gone according to plan.  Being a naturally seat-of-the-pants writer who carries plotlines in their head rather than in any kind of physical form (incredibly awkward when you forget things), I decided to to take a different approach, and use one of my many notebooks in the process.

I think I'm missing a few here, and yes some are still in their wrapping.

Which was a great idea in theory.  In practice--or at least, in my hands--it was somewhat less so...  It started out well enough, just a short paragraph per section for what was intended to be a novella.

There was a system, honest. Writing in purple seemed like a good idea at the time too.

But the one thing I'm not is brief.  Or tidy.  I've posted about my handwriting a few times on Twitter--mostly that I can't even read it myself on occasions--and it's prone to getting taller and spikier the more tired (or drunk) I am, although the sad irony is that it's when I'm sober that I typo all over the place.  Either way, it somehow got away from me and now I'm left with 17 sides of crabby handwriting that I've got to decipher.

Too many pages... and this is only the last few, where I was mostly making an effort to be legible.

And I'm now also left with the weirdest set of conflicted feelings.

On one hand, this is the first time I've ever finished anything, even if it's badly handwritten and in rambling note form.  That includes ten years' worth of NaNoWriMo projects (I know how some of them end, sure.  I've just never gotten there) and a few side projects.  It's probably the reason why I've been happiest writing a continuing universe in short story form.  So I feel strangely proud, if that makes any sense?

On the other... I've just already written this, and now I have to write it again.  But longer.  With actual dialogue.  And not in purple.

It's the strangest sense of anticlimax.  I wonder if authors who plot everything out in minute detail feel the same way?  The lovely Danni at KenRenStationary/Four Words, Four Worlds did sensibly point out that at least now, even if I don't work on it immediately, I have a complete plot ready to go for when I do, but I'd like to get at least a little done for Camp NaNo even if I don't entirely feel like it...

I've got just over half a month to go, that's got to be good for at least half of it, right?

Right?

No Nonsense Reviews: The Roman Boy / Wine and Honey by Cally Sharp

Anselm Kahler is sold into slavery to pay off his father's debts.  Scared and helpless at a slave auction in a foreign country, he's bought by easily the most terrifying and imposing man in the whole audience.  But Septimus Tuditanus isn't all he seems, and Anselm now has to learn to navigate Roman society under the tutelage of his new master while avoiding the attentions of Septimus' old enemy--which is easier said than done...

Pros
+ Easy and enjoyable style
+ Great use of present tense
+ Genuinely likeable characters
+ Remarkable sex scenes (very hot)

Cons
- The second book ends quite abruptly

I bought the first book because I follow the author on Twitter and she'd just posted about the second.  It was an enticingly affordable price so I bought it and started reading immediately.

And then I couldn't stop.

I finished it the same day I bought it (it's not a long book) and bought the second one the next day, which I devoured at roughly the same rate.  I was a bit disappointed at the suddenness (in my opinion, obviously) of the ending of the second--especially as the first drew to an end beautifully--but the rest of the book was more than enough to make up for that one niggling issue.

Now I just have to cross my fingers that the author will write a third as I did really fall in love with all the characters--in particular Anselm and Septimus, obviously, and Lyudmila in Wine and Honey too--and would love to see how things progress for them.

• Goodreads page for The Roman Boy

I Appear To Be Doing Camp NaNoWriMo

This has kinda come as a surprise to me.  I saw a post by my friend and co-ML Anika Daniels on Tumblr last night about Camp NaNoWriMo--something I've strenuously avoided doing officially as we as a writing group don't treat it like NaNo proper and I am atrocious with deadlines--and idly posted about whether to do it.

Two responses to the affirmative later (hey, I never said I was popular!) and I'm being swayed.  I really should work on how easily influenced I am.

Normally on the lead-in to a NaNo project I'm scrabbling around like a lunatic, trying to scrape together enough inspiration to keep me going over the month.  More than once I've relied on dreams to give me a last minute plot (neither of which actually made it into the prose).  This time, however...

Okay, I'll admit it, I'm at a loss.  I'm normally struggling for ideas, now they're trying to drown me under a mountain of plot-bunnies.  (They look remarkably like shed dog-hair.)

I have, in no particular order:

1. Prince Til and his dragon/lover, who're still tapping their feet and waiting for me to supply them with an adequate adventure;
2. An unnamed princess and her dragon/lover who turned up and promptly insisted she wasn't going to sit around in her tower for a husband, oh no--she was going to be a knight;
3. A completely out-of-nowhere steampunk AU for Milos and Alex--because one AU is never enough, apparently;
4. Continuing my high fantasy AU from the Ridiculous Challenge (but I usually prefer to start a new project, which is probably why I have so many unfinished ones);
5. Leaping forward nine years in the high fantasy AU and having Alex rescue Milos from his new life;
6. Finally picking up with the real-world stories and starting the new arc that came threatening;
7. Or finally finishing one of the two former arcs that are sitting around waiting to be worked on...

Whatever I do, it'll involve plotting, which comes as a shock.  And I have around a week to decide on story and intended word count and work on it.

Still, I'm anticipating having plenty of time to work on it so with any luck (okay, a lot of luck) and some planning it won't be as disastrous as it currently feels like it might be...

ADDENDUM:  Do any of these look interesting?  I'm more than happy to take suggestions!

Taking The Plunge

I finally did it today.

Nope, not writing (bad of me; I realised with horror that today is the 19th and I don't know where the month has gone) but, instead, registering a domain name.

Yep, today I am the proud owner of www.paxasteriae.co.uk.

It's not much to be joyful over, I know, but that didn't stop me from squealing enthusiastically when I dealt with the DNS settings and finally pointed it to this page--especially when it worked immediately and I didn't need to wait the recommended hour or, worse, a potential 48 of them (according to my domain name provider).

Somehow having an actual domain name makes me feel legitimate--no idea why, I'm anything but--and it's a weird, giddy feeling.  Not just dipping a toe into the water of this name, I've finally just thrown myself in.

And I didn't even have to wait an hour before swimming.

The Plot Bunny Avalanche; I Can't Turn My Back For Five Minutes...

I complained at the start of Alternate Universe Month that I don't normally write high fantasy and that it was, pardon the pun, a bit of a closed world to me.  I'm usually far happier with contemporary fantasy or pretending I know what I'm doing with my sci-fi world.

Honestly, quite recently I'd been struggling for plot.  I've got a few stories in Alex and Milos's contemporary world that need writing (one smut, one small arc that I started and then left hanging for AU Month), and the continuation of AU Month itself--I should've known better than to think I could complete a whole story in a month.  It's not worked for the last ten years of NaNoWriMo, why would it work now?

With these on my mind, I was taken by surprise when my friend and co-ML reblogged a writing prompt on Tumblr and the damn thing started writing itself in my head.  I tried to ignore it, I really did, but the more I ignored it, the more lines spiralled through my mind so in the end I caved in and wrote it.  The prompt was about a dragon rescuing a princess from a knight, but this being me the princess turned into a prince long sick of being called "fair maiden" and the dragon turned into a rather handsome man.  It turned into something quite cute and fluffy and I really enjoyed writing it.  (You can read Rescuing The Princess if you're interested, it's only around 1,500 words.)

And I thought there it'd end.  Cute one-shot fluff.

Except today I find that my prince is leaning on the sill of his window tapping his fingers on the brickwork and giving me this expectant look, while the dragon is apparently engaged in working out whether he can become a dragontaur and they both seem to think that I can provide them with another story.  Which, to my horror, seems to be something my brain is actively working on as we speak.

I went from being distinctly uninspired to having to try to fight off ideas with a pathetic wooden sword--with little success.

All I want to know is: when did my own mind become so rebellious?

Memories Only Ever Lead To Trouble: 30 Songs, 30 Works, 30 Days

As you might be able to tell, I’m not very good at remembering to update things.  Well, no, that’s not exactly true: I’ve been thinking up blog posts now and again, but between work and life (and, yes I’ll admit it, some 30 hours in Tales of the Abyss) I’ve not got around to doing it.

It’s probably for the best; you’re all about this far from being introduced to my car.  Even if he is a remarkably handsome CityRover, I’m pretty sure that I’m the only one actually interested in him.

After scraping over the finish line of my last ridiculous challenge, I’ve been recuperating (this is why I’m not a professional author--well, that and the fact I’m a terrible writer), taking time to recharge my writing batteries and play with the Copics I was tempted into buying (you know who you are).  For most of the month my characters have been depressingly silent, but lately they’ve been waking up again.  It usually consists of Milos throwing things at Alex while yelling, and uncharacteristic tenderness from Alex that makes me think he’s itching to return to the real-world setting where he and Milos are coming up to a year of whatever kind of relationship they’re in, but I’m not complaining even if Milos is.

Which clearly means it’s time for another challenge that I will likely fail at!

Only this time, I thought I’d try to bring others along with me (who hopefully won't fail).

I’ve been reminiscing about an old LiveJournal group/challenge called ArtGrind I was once a member of.  The premise was that you took one of your characters and drew them every day for six months, then you’d compare your art at the beginning with your last pieces and hopefully see improvement.  I’d never managed to actually complete it--the closest I came was with Arkadiy, a sci-fi soldier with fun facial hair who returned to the military after a short period of retirement in search of revenge--and, to add insult to injury, I actually think I got worse over time than better, but reviewing the old artworks made me feel nostalgic.

It also made me realise there was a whole subsection of pictures that had been inspired by whatever I’d been listening to at the time.  Some of them were literal--Arkadiy pointing a gun at the camera, inspired by The Hoosiers’ Cops & Robbers, or sprinting forwards across a background of crosses sunk into the ground, inspired by Coldplay’s Violet Hill--and others were obscure, such as leaning against a stone archway because every time I listened to Cemetaries of London I saw the same (as far as I can tell nonexistent--certainly not London) city time and again, but they all reminded me that music can give us the ability to ‘see’ things and none of us will see exactly the same thing.

And it also reminded me that I don’t draw very often any more.

I’d been planning to call it “Pax’s Ridiculously Stupid Challenge Part II” until a couple of friends expressed an interest in taking part too.  Calling something ‘stupid’ doesn’t work so well when you’re trying to encourage others to join, does it?

So in the end I settled on the ever-literal 30 Songs, 30 Works, 30 Days which begins on the stroke of midnight of the 1st June 2013.  It’s not limited to starting then, of course: if someone wants to join halfway through the month, or in two months time, that’s up to them.  If they want to go longer than 30 days because they’re having fun, again that’s up to them.  If they want to write, draw, take photos, render in 3D... it’s all up to them.  The point is only to challenge yourself to create something once a day based on a unique song a day, and hopefully have fun doing it.  Nothing more, nothing less.

I managed to time it so that I’m in Nottingham meeting up with other writers when it starts!  Never let it be said that I am talented at planning.

If anyone feels like taking part, please look over the link and I hope we’ll see you soon.  ♪

Meet My Desk: Lydia

Apologies for missing last week's Meet My Desk. Work and my stupid writing project were both chewing on me, but never fear, I'm back now!

Okay, maybe it's time to fear.

It's taken less than a month for it to look like a bomb hit my desk:-

It's a little tidier now since I took the picture, but... not really by much. But everything important is still in arm's reach so I'm still happy--if feeling a little penned-in. I suspect it's time to tidy again.

Today, I'm introducing a very special lady: Lydia, my Nexus 7.

Her existence is owed in large part to, of all people, Lucy, my Kindle. I take Lucy everywhere with me because you never know when you need an eBook and when I discovered her experimental browser I was hooked. But browsing on a Kindle is a slow and fiddly process.

I'd been wanting a touchscreen system for a while but spent ages agonising over which kind to get. In the end I settled on the Nexus 7. Ordering it was surprisingly stressful (big purchases make me nervous) and while I waited for her to arrive, I turned my mind to the knotty issue of naming. Well, for maybe half an hour until I concluded that since she'd be sworn to carry my burdens, then clearly the only name suitable for her was Lydia.

I may have spent a lot of time playing Skyrim.

She's lived up to her name ever since, not least by being so awkward to get out the packaging when she arrived that I had to loosen it with a metal ruler. Ever since then we've been inseparable--she comes to bed with me and carries my burdens in the form of random notes and snippets of stories, eBooks that don't work on Lucy and is always on hand for those moments when someone says "that person in this film looks familiar, what else were they in?" She's very much the workhorse of my technological items. (She's also quite handy for Temple Run 2. What do you mean "that's procrastination"?)

She's also very useful for my friends when I'm in Nottingham--usually so some of them can update my Tumblr with questionable content and so I can inflict creepy comics on them (that was my achievement last Saturday).

She also is happy to help as a light when I'm wandering around in the dark. That's not a metaphor, by the way: I'm one of those people who never turns on the damn lights. I'd be useless in a slasher movie

Not least 'cause there's no way I'd damage Lydia by bludgeoning the killer with her.

Next week: still no idea. I'm running out of things with personalities. If you're not careful it might end up being my car.

Final Status Update, with Unexpected Artwork and Revised To-Read Pile

In the end I didn't manage to write and post a chapter every day.  There were reasons for this that I won't go into to spare everyone else's sanity, but on the whole when I sat down and actually thought about it, I felt less disappointed in myself than I expected.

I finished the month with a total of 22 chapters that came in at a grand total of 54,366 words.  Considering that this means I missed eight days' worth of chapters I think it's not too bad!  I stumbled over the finish line on 1st May with a mammoth chapter of 5,124 words which contained some awkward scenes to write (not quite what I'd envisioned ending on) and now I'm taking a--well, I'd say 'well-deserved' but I don't know if I'd go that far--break before I carry on.

This means I actually have time to read for a while, yay!  In slightly less yay news, my to-read pile grew yesterday with another trip to Waterstones in Nottingham with friends.

I'm looking forward to actually playing Bioshock finally too.

The weirdest part of the whole writing experience was the sudden realisation of what happens to Alex and Milos nine years in the future in this alternate fantasy world.  Considering that in all of the 64 stories of the regular universe I've been preoccupied enough with keeping them in line and figuring out their past, I'd not had time to consider the future beyond a couple of months.  Realising what happens not just in the future of the current stories, but nearly a whole decade beyond has come as a bit of a surprise.

Unfortunately for everyone, there is also artwork.

I'm intrigued enough that once I've managed to finish these chapters I might start on this new development and see where it goes; half the fun of this AU is mirroring certain events from my main storyline (because I'm easily amused like that) so this would be hurtling into all-new territory for these boys.  Maybe by then I'll even have come up with a better title than the one it's already got (honestly, anything would be an improvement).

Maybe this time, however, I won't try to write it all in a month.  I'm not sure I could take this kind of experience more than once or twice a year.

As always, if you're curious about this ridiculous project and how far I've got, the links to the chapters can be found here, or at the top of the page under "Radial: Unravel - AU".  I did say it needed a better title...!

Meet My Desk: Lucy

Tuesdays are still “Meet My Desk” days, even if I very almost forgot until around 2pm and had to wait for the sun to come out so I could take a photo.  The sunlight is very important for photos, mostly because my camera loves to make everything very faintly blurred unless the sun is out.  It’ll want a blood sacrifice next, mark my words.

This time round we’re meeting my Kindle, Lucy.

I can’t remember off the top of my head how old she is, but she’s definitely younger than Sixteen.  This amuses me for many reasons, along with her name--both her name and Sixteen’s are a massive in-joke for me that takes an explanation that always makes me sound like an idiot.

In short, they’re both named after characters from the Assassin’s Creed series, and Lucy is so named because she connects to Sixteen and he can share memories (or at least eBooks) with her.  I also happen to like the pairing of Sixteen and Lucy (which puts me in the minority in the fandom I suspect)...  And I did say it made me sound like an idiot, didn’t I?

Lucy is a quiet, steady presence in my life, and she’s responsible for two things: my introduction to indie/self-publishing and ebooks, and the existence of Lydia (who you’ll meet at some point).  Right now I can’t quite work out which one is more expensive.  She’s my trusted carrier of entertainment (and the occasional spot of heartbreak) in her exquisite coat of Tesco Kindle cover with comfortingly fuzzy lining.  I talk about buying her a shiny, more book-ish cover sometimes, but honestly I think purple suits her.

She travels to Nottingham with me too, usually so I can make ridiculous and enthusiastic noises about whatever I’m reading to my friends (who by now probably want to beat me to death with her) and on our most recent trip we made a horrific discovery together:-

New Kindles, at least in Waterstones, are black, not grey.

This has a strange, slimming effect on the overall design that wasn’t lost on me (or Lucy).  I held her up to the display model, end to end and side to side, and although I know they’re both the same size the black one remained resolutely smaller-looking.

I spent five minutes clutching her to my chest and muttering “it’s okay, you’re not fat” while my friends made sympathetic noises and did their best to reassure her.  (Remember what I said about my fellow writers being odd?)  I think she feels better now--and I really do think that the grey is a much nicer colour, personally--but I won’t be letting her anywhere near this post in case she remembers and becomes depressed.

I agonised for months before I bought her and spent ages wondering if her existence would impact my buying of traditional books (unfortunately for my bookcases, no) or if I’d simply never use her (she’s always by my side), but in the end I wouldn’t be without her.

Next time: I still have no idea who I’ll be writing about. Sorry.

Friday Status Update and Music Musings

I'm now three days behind.  This isn't entirely a surprise to me--what really is a surprise is that it's only three days.  I'm currently rocking a grand total of 35,191 words spread over 16 chapters, so I'm probably doing a little better than I thought I would, even if I am still disappointed in myself for those three days.

Hopefully by the end of today it'll resume being two days.

When I write, I tend to have specific 'soundtracks'--collections of songs that remind me of certain stories.  Radial has one, Unravel has one (which in fact proved awkward when trying to narrow it down to average CD length for a challenge).  Even stories I've not mentioned here such as Arkadian and Chime have them: they both share The Killers' Day & Age between them, along with tracks by Muse and Fair To Midland.

This Alternate Universe doesn't have one.  A lot of the ones I associate with Alex and Milos are too contemporary to move across, and after I removed those I found I had very little left on the playlist.  So I added in music from Sonata Arctica (somewhat a mistake: I associate a few of those with another story too), Orgy and Our Lady Peace in the hope some of those would stick.

Nope.

I'm enjoying the music, don't get me wrong, but there's nothing that's firing off random ideas.  Sixteen is having the occasional Mood over which songs he does and doesn't want to play--there's a few that if I didn't see them on the playlist I'd think I'd forgotten to put in--and I can't find anything in my folders that is giving me the right 'feeling' for a fantasy story about an arse of a knight and his long-suffering slave (although it's odd how much does work for an arse of a government agent and his long-suffering genetically-modified subordinate).

So... if anyone has any suggestions, I'd be incredibly happy to hear them!  And if not... well, I'll be over here staring mournfully at Sixteen's screen and wondering why I can no longer string together a coherent sentence.  And with this post, I think I've proved that...!

Meet My Desk: Sixteen

In an effort to try to blog to a regular(ish) schedule, I decided the other day that Tuesdays are going to be “Meet My Desk” days.  Mostly because a bunch of things on my desk have had names and/or personalities assigned to them (you can’t not name technology) and partially because no one objected when I mentioned it on Twitter.

Really, Twitter people, you only have yourself to blame.

I tidied my desk the other day, I even have evidence of this! (Yes, this is tidy.)  There’s no ‘before’ shot because it was just buried under a vast stack of magazines, sketchbooks and assorted crap, but it’s all better now.  (Note: the paperwork in the background isn’t mine.  Mine’s all over a desk upstairs.)

Today, we’re meeting my trusty two-year-old laptop, Sixteen.

Well, I say trusty.  Sulky might be more accurate (sorry Sixteen).  It has been suggested that naming him after a paranoid, possibly insane character from a video game was a bad idea but aside from him having a strange personality and responding well to being stroked (this has been externally verified, sadly by my writing group who are easily as odd as me) he’s been pretty well behaved.

He has his own taste in music that doesn’t always match mine and he’s been known to insist on playing certain songs far more than is reasonable.  He went through a big Florence + The Machine obsession a few months ago and he’s quite keen on BT too.  Since my playlist is always set to random, he’s very talented at picking the right song for whatever I’m writing and has been known to guilt-trip me by bunching together songs that remind me of one certain character or another so I end up writing.

People have complained in the past that the cycling of his fan makes it sound like he’s breathing.  It is apparently, and I quote, “creepy”.

I have been known to talk to him, and there are people out there who are fairly sure that you can get a sensible answer from him by asking questions and seeing what song comes on next.  I’m not so sure, myself.  Also, it should be said I talk to everything, not just him.  I’m one of those irritating people who just mutters to themselves...

Mood swings aside, he’s been surprisingly reliable since I got him, he’s put up with being dragged everywhere (although he weighs enough that he’s stopped coming to Nottingham with me) and so far--touch wood--he’s behaved far more reasonably than my old laptop ever did.  I’ve become very fond of him!

It may have something to do with the fact that between work and hobbies I spend most of my day in front of him, of course...

Next time: another random personified thing! No, I haven't decided which yet. Consider it a surprise.

Status Update, And My Ever-Growing "To-Read" Pile

I am one of those irritating bloggers who write entire posts in their head and forget every single part of it when it comes to sitting down in front of a keyboard.  Although I’ll admit that I’m only irritating myself when it comes to that.

I’m almost on target with my Ridiculous Writing Challenge, although I’m not quite sure how it’s happened.  It’s taken a lot of pointed musical hints from my laptop, who is possessed but can be helpful when he wants to be, but as of the 12th April I’ve written a grand(ish) total of 19,329 words and I’m a day behind for reasons I won’t go into.

Even considering I’m one day off target and that I’ve yet to write anything today, I wish I’d had an output like this during National Novel Writing Month.

The only thing is, when someone slow like me decides to do a stupid challenge like this, everything else tends to go by the wayside and as a result, I turned my back for a few minutes and my to read pile has stacked up like crazy.

Okay, yes, I’ll admit I may have had a hand in it since I am the one who bought it all, but it’s not my fault!  I can’t be expected to walk into a bookstore and walk away empty-handed, can I?  (And yes, that is the sequel to The Left Hand Of God at the bottom of the stack, because I do want to know what happens, but this book doesn’t smell as nice as the first one did by a long shot--I tested this on my friends in the store and they agree--so to the bottom of the pile it goes.)

Also, special mention to Bioshock: Infinite propping up Lydia Nexus there, because that’s what I’ll be playing the minute this challenge is up.  Or possibly before, depending on how long I can hold out...

Well, I’m ten chapters into this AU challenge now, I had to rewrite one half-written chapter to change the POV and the plot is still coming to me as I write (both useful--at least it’s turning up, albeit slowly--and incredibly irritating--I’d like to know what’s happening more than two days in advance) but as planning seems to involve me staring blankly at empty sheets of paper lately, I’ll have to stick to jotting notes and seeing what comes up when I do, although maybe knowing what towns are called beforehand would be a place to start.  As always, if you’re curious (or bloody-minded), the link’s at the top of the page.  I even managed to write a little smut--unfortunately for Milos--and there’s more to come (uh, no pun, even mildly, intended...).

Wish me luck!  Because believe me, I’ll need it...

Alternate Universe Month, now also known as Pax's Stupidity Month

Over at my favourite writing community, Runaway Tales, it’s Alternate Universe month.  Considering my ‘main canon’, the world I predominantly write in, is contemporary sci-fantasy (the nice--and much shorter--way of saying my main character, Milos, is a genetically modified elf who’s been forced to work for the government), this promptly gave me a headache.

I mean, when you’re already writing about elves, what do you do?  I thought about sci-fi, but most of my previous worlds are in that genre and I didn’t really want to rehash it for a sixth time (also, oddly, I’ve never been all that big on Elves In Space and I didn’t want to give Alex, Milos’s human superior--or so he’d refer to himself--an excuse to be a bigger dick than normal).  I even considered the comedy-drama of an anime/manga style gakuen, or school, setting, something I did for two of my sci-fi characters a couple of years ago, but although the idea of Milos and Alex in school uniforms was appealing I just didn’t feel inclined to go that way again.  I considered steampunk, but I’ve got another idea percolating on that (it takes a while for my brain to get its act together) and this would have just stepped on its toes.

Which somehow only left me with high fantasy, and another headache.

I’ve not written high fantasy in years and when I did, the worlds were devoid of elves or magic, although they did have a liberal helping of nosy gods and reanimated priestesses.  I’ve never been one for castles, although I love exploring them in real life, and my favourite eras of history aren’t ones involving chivalry (or the lack thereof) and knights.

I’ve got no idea, in fact, what possessed me.  But here we are: I’ve written two stories already and I’ve challenged myself to write and post something every day for April.

I think I’ll regret this decision.  I think I’m already regretting it, as I’m staring at my third ‘chapter’ and failing to get words to fall into coherent lines and wondering just when Alex sprouted a family his real-world incarnation most definitely doesn’t have.  I don’t even have the excuse of doing Camp NaNo.  I’ve just randomly decided to be stupid and set myself challenges I don’t think I can keep.

But even if I crash and burn in five days time--or even tomorrow--I’ll have written more in these three days than I did in the whole of the last month.

So maybe even random bursts of stupidity serve their purpose...

We’ll see if I’m still saying that next week!

(If you’re curious, it’s the tab at the top handily labelled as Unravel AU - Index and it should be updated every day. Should. But I’d be more than happy to take suggestions on a new name.  The entire damn thing needs a new name to be fair, but mostly because I can’t stop seeing the ‘Alternate Universe’ abbreviation as ‘Australia’...)