Reviews, And What People Expect From One

...Which is a roundabout way of saying, I have no idea what people expect.

I will freely acknowledge that I am terrible at reviewing things.  It brings up awful memories of GCSE and A-Level English book reviews that I casually tried to avoid doing until I was almost thrown out of classes.  Writing a review should be a joy, not a chore, I understand that.  You want to share your experience.  Or, at least, according to the internet, you should.

Am I the only person who finds writing reviews anxiety-inducing?  They're a minefield, or at least they seem so from Twitter, and the mines in question range from things you choose to criticise (more on that later), to whether you should review anything you didn't unequivocally love, with a smattering of "what happens when the author comes along and thanks you / bitches at you / threatens you physically?"

The reason I call my reviews "No-Nonsense" is because I, as I said above, am terrible at reviewing things, and I assume that at least some people, like me, don't really sit down to read long and involved reviews either.  I concluded that by listing things I liked, things I didn't and things that might vary from reader to reader (inasmuch as it all varies because if we were all the same we'd be a hive mind and there'd be no need to read or write stories, we'd already absorb them from the mind that created them) then I could at least review books without driving both myself and anyone who reads the reviews mad.

But when it comes to things you like and things you don't, where do you stop?  What if a book is swimming with typoes--not just the average one or two, but enough to drag you out of the book?  Is that worth pointing out, or will it bring Author Wrath down on your head should they see?

What about the price?  What if a book is worth more, in your eyes, than its sale price--or indeed worth less, or is a free copy you wouldn't have otherwise bought because the price was too high?  Are those worth noting?

I could--and probably would--plunge blindly on if it wasn't for Twitter where, in the last couple of weeks, I've seen an author threaten a reviewer because the reviewer posted a bad review, and another author assert that reviewers who refer to typos as a negative in a book review are somehow deficient and need patronising and gently insulting until they see the author's point of view: that typos should be acceptable in indie novels and the reviewer should only review the plot, not things like spelling.

Faced with those, and various subtle others, I found myself wondering, what actually is the point?  If something irritated me in a novel, apparently I shouldn't ever mention it--but then what is the point of a review?

That, in short, is why I've barely reviewed anything lately.

But I'd rather hear from you guys: what do you expect from a book review?  Should indie books be held to the same standard as ones published by the big names?  What would you like to see commented on, and what would you prefer went ignored?

Or, instead, do you even read reviews, or do you buy solely on the book's blurb?

Incidentally I do have a glowing book review to post, I'm just... building up to it.

Short Story: Valentines Day

Rating: PG
Universe: Unnamed Steampunk
Word Count: 1,128
Summary: Kirill and Niko celebrate Valentine's Day in their own way...

Kirill woke to an empty bed, and did his best to crush his disappointment.  It wasn’t the first time and it wouldn’t be the last, but it didn’t mean he liked it.  Niko had three commissions to work on—three, a headache-inducing amount to keep track of, even for him—and if he’d risen before Kirill, he must be in a particularly determined mood.  He admired his dedication, he really did, but sometimes...

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No Nonsense Reviews: Let's Get Digital by David Gaughran

Pros
+ Well-written, easy to follow text
+ Real-world examples and quotes from authors
+ Optimistic outlook

 Cons
- Several sections are now slightly outdated

I bought this while in a mild panic over one of my own projects, due to it being referenced in another "how-to" book I was reading.  It was a quick read (around a day at most) and contained several helpful hints, many of which were useful and which I think I'll no doubt return to in the future, but some sections have become outdated between publication in 2011 and now -- for example, sections about pricing from big publishers omits that Apple and several publishers were sued in both the US and EU for price-fixing at higher rates in 2012 -- which is a peril for all reference books.

I recommend it for everyone who wants a 'second opinion' or perhaps simply another view into the world of self-publishing, but the optimistic author success stories felt a little like padding and I admit to only skim-reading them --  no-one is going to ask the many unsuccessful or struggling authors, are they?  (This isn't sour grapes, I should add!)

It's worth it for the price and it's very well-written, but be aware that some information in it may not be wholly relevant any longer.

• Goodreads page for Let's Get Digital: How To Self-Publish, And Why You Should