I'm Due That Kick, Consider It A Present

Last week I talked about how we're all allowed to write crap, and in fact writing crap is preferable to writing nothing.

I also--foolishly in hindsight--said that if I hadn't written 5,000 words or more in a week, said people were free to hunt me down and give me a kick.  (Please don't kick me too hard.)

I wrote around 1,200 words, and then started replaying Dragon Age 2.  I have edited several lines several times however (yes I know...), and at least did make a couple of things a bit clearer.  My main character is not in the best situation ever at this point in the story and my brain, my fingers or my heart (I'm not sure which, it might be all three) is/are rebelling at what is going to happen.

Kirill's life is about to become difficult and although things will get better afterwards, I'm stuck at my last line: "Everything was as it should be."  Something in my head illogically insists that if I leave it there, the bad stuff won't happen.  Of course, if I leave it there the good stuff won't happen either and my main character will be trapped in an awful limbo, believing something terrible has happened to the man he's fallen in love with without anything ever being proved or disproved.

Which, I think we can all agree, is a Bad Thing.

And, although I have no direct evidence to show for it, I'm starting to feel more confident in the relationship between Kirill and Niko.  An important part to my characters for me--although it may sound a bit odd--is how they interact in my head when I'm not thinking much about them; for instance, Alex and Milos have a near-constant stream of bickering that occasionally leads to sex that crops up at the strangest times.  For quite a while I'd had absolutely nothing from Kirill and Niko, which was concerning.  And then I accidentally wrote fluffy almost-smut based on nothing more than a scene prompt and realised that actually they do get along.  And then an actual sex-scene occurred in my head--I've not gotten around to writing it down yet--and suddenly I'm feeling a lot happier about the whole thing.

But at least my Dragon Age replay has been going quite well...  In some ways I can consider it research, because at some point last year I started hearing my character Alex's voice as Gideon Emery's (the voice of Fenris).  Make it slightly softer and more Midlands-English and it's a perfect fit for him, so I'm topping up my memories.

See?  It's not all bad.

(As an aside, I'm 30 today.  So at least for today I hope I have an excuse for not writing!)

"You're Allowed To Write Crap"

I have to keep reminding myself of this, because I forget and then I just keep editing a sentence or two until I'm satisfied with it... and then I'll go away, then come back and edit them again.  Which is ironic really, because I vary wildly between editing until it's as dry as dust, and hammering it out in one big blast, checking for errors and the worst examples of repetition and then booting it out into the wild.

I am allowed to write crap.

Because writing pages and pages of crap is better than having one nicely polished sentence.  There's a lot more you can do with those pages than with that one perfect, isolated line.

I've managed to find things to do instead of writing.  I have a very nice village in Animal Crossing, for instance.  I've listened to all 28 podcast episodes of Welcome to Night Vale (12 hours and 2 minutes), during which no writing could occur because you have to actually listen to them, not do something that'll distract you and mean you need to rewind.  I sketched and inked a fairly rough picture of Kirill (it's not procrastinating if it's drawing the character you're supposed to be writing about, surely).  I've moved pallets around (the big ones, not the painting ones), taken the dogs for a walk, spent time on the treadmill in my desperate bid to lose some weight...

I've just done everything but writing.  And when I do sit in front of my Works document--don't laugh, I've been using it for 16 years now and the only other thing I'm comfortable with is Abiword; I'm well aware that's abnormal--I just edit the last sentence I wrote.

So... this time next week, if I've not written 5,000 words (or, ideally, more), you have permission to hunt me down and give me a quick kick.

No, I won't tell you where I live...  hey, stop planning the trip already!

So if you're struggling too, remember this.  You are allowed to write crap.  Even if it takes ages to do it, even if you've spend 12 hours being distracted by a voice, at some point sit down, stop worrying and start writing.  We can save the editing for later...  and then really go to town on it.

Pinup Boy Sunday - Niko Lunen

Postponed from last week due to certain technical hitches, this Sunday it's the turn of Kirill's love interest, legal owner and unintended rescuer, Nikolai Lunen.

Niko is a 29-year-old engineer, mechanic and alchemist with an affable, if somewhat solitary demeanour.  He lived alone in a small manor in an upmarket part of the city until Kirill came to live with him, and makes a living by working on constructing mechanical and alchemical commissions.

He enjoys reading, working and music (sometimes both at the same time), and enjoys taking care of Kirill.  He dislikes the practice of slavery and isn't quite sure how he ended up with one, although suspects a soft heart is a bad thing to take to an auction.