Reviews, And What People Expect From One

...Which is a roundabout way of saying, I have no idea what people expect.

I will freely acknowledge that I am terrible at reviewing things.  It brings up awful memories of GCSE and A-Level English book reviews that I casually tried to avoid doing until I was almost thrown out of classes.  Writing a review should be a joy, not a chore, I understand that.  You want to share your experience.  Or, at least, according to the internet, you should.

Am I the only person who finds writing reviews anxiety-inducing?  They're a minefield, or at least they seem so from Twitter, and the mines in question range from things you choose to criticise (more on that later), to whether you should review anything you didn't unequivocally love, with a smattering of "what happens when the author comes along and thanks you / bitches at you / threatens you physically?"

The reason I call my reviews "No-Nonsense" is because I, as I said above, am terrible at reviewing things, and I assume that at least some people, like me, don't really sit down to read long and involved reviews either.  I concluded that by listing things I liked, things I didn't and things that might vary from reader to reader (inasmuch as it all varies because if we were all the same we'd be a hive mind and there'd be no need to read or write stories, we'd already absorb them from the mind that created them) then I could at least review books without driving both myself and anyone who reads the reviews mad.

But when it comes to things you like and things you don't, where do you stop?  What if a book is swimming with typoes--not just the average one or two, but enough to drag you out of the book?  Is that worth pointing out, or will it bring Author Wrath down on your head should they see?

What about the price?  What if a book is worth more, in your eyes, than its sale price--or indeed worth less, or is a free copy you wouldn't have otherwise bought because the price was too high?  Are those worth noting?

I could--and probably would--plunge blindly on if it wasn't for Twitter where, in the last couple of weeks, I've seen an author threaten a reviewer because the reviewer posted a bad review, and another author assert that reviewers who refer to typos as a negative in a book review are somehow deficient and need patronising and gently insulting until they see the author's point of view: that typos should be acceptable in indie novels and the reviewer should only review the plot, not things like spelling.

Faced with those, and various subtle others, I found myself wondering, what actually is the point?  If something irritated me in a novel, apparently I shouldn't ever mention it--but then what is the point of a review?

That, in short, is why I've barely reviewed anything lately.

But I'd rather hear from you guys: what do you expect from a book review?  Should indie books be held to the same standard as ones published by the big names?  What would you like to see commented on, and what would you prefer went ignored?

Or, instead, do you even read reviews, or do you buy solely on the book's blurb?

Incidentally I do have a glowing book review to post, I'm just... building up to it.

Short Story: Valentines Day

Rating: PG
Universe: Unnamed Steampunk
Word Count: 1,128
Summary: Kirill and Niko celebrate Valentine's Day in their own way...

Kirill woke to an empty bed, and did his best to crush his disappointment.  It wasn’t the first time and it wouldn’t be the last, but it didn’t mean he liked it.  Niko had three commissions to work on—three, a headache-inducing amount to keep track of, even for him—and if he’d risen before Kirill, he must be in a particularly determined mood.  He admired his dedication, he really did, but sometimes...

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No Nonsense Reviews: Let's Get Digital by David Gaughran

Pros
+ Well-written, easy to follow text
+ Real-world examples and quotes from authors
+ Optimistic outlook

 Cons
- Several sections are now slightly outdated

I bought this while in a mild panic over one of my own projects, due to it being referenced in another "how-to" book I was reading.  It was a quick read (around a day at most) and contained several helpful hints, many of which were useful and which I think I'll no doubt return to in the future, but some sections have become outdated between publication in 2011 and now -- for example, sections about pricing from big publishers omits that Apple and several publishers were sued in both the US and EU for price-fixing at higher rates in 2012 -- which is a peril for all reference books.

I recommend it for everyone who wants a 'second opinion' or perhaps simply another view into the world of self-publishing, but the optimistic author success stories felt a little like padding and I admit to only skim-reading them --  no-one is going to ask the many unsuccessful or struggling authors, are they?  (This isn't sour grapes, I should add!)

It's worth it for the price and it's very well-written, but be aware that some information in it may not be wholly relevant any longer.

• Goodreads page for Let's Get Digital: How To Self-Publish, And Why You Should

The first small victory of 2014

I started using HabitRPG a while ago.  If you're not familiar with it, it's a site and app that lets you set daily goals, habits to encourage (or discourage) and things to do, all framed as an RPG with experience and gold rewarded for completing tasks and health taken away for failing.

I'm terrible at sticking to things.  I don't have the attention span for it, so approaching it as a game with rewards is actually doing wonders.

One thing that it's proving particularly useful for is the To-Do section: mine is full of writing targets that, if I see every day, I can't escape so easily.  They range from the unlikely (completing the second arc of Three Graces, which has been sat doing nothing for two years due to my own stupidity--no, seriously), to the possibly-probable (finishing both Radial AUs), to the downright laughable but depressingly necessary (naming the steampunk universe, because Unnamed Steampunk is never catchy).

It also included two perfectly reachable ones: finish the Unnamed Steampunk (see?) novella I started last year, and rewrite it.  I'd intended to finish it last year but got unaccountably stuck on the last chapter, the part that should have been the easiest of the whole story.  I stared and prodded and rewrote, I even edited bits of it, but it resolutely refused to crystallise in my mind.  I could not wrap my mind around this one last bit.

And there was this perfectly reachable To-Do sitting there laughing at me.  It's embarrassing, being taunted by an orange box on a website.  But there it was, perfectly smug in the knowledge that it was reachable and I was just failing to reach it.

Funny how the brain works, isn't it?  Even funnier is that, in writing "Doors Should Creak", I solved my own problem.  By writing a point in Niko and Kirill's life where they were comfortable enough to have sex and clearly had been for some time, it made it much easier to write Kirill's tentative first steps towards confidence in Niko and their fledgling relationship.  Suddenly, over the course of two days, I could check off my Habit of writing 200 words (a small but manageable goal for someone who's so easily distracted) and I finished the story.

It's now on my Kindle, where I can be taunted by the weird chapter spacing and the fact it needs heavy revision, but it's done.

Considering my atrocious track record with actually completing projects, it feels weird and incredible, but I finally got to check off my first To-Do and complete my first project of 2014.

Anyone else using HabitRPG or cracked that first To-Do of the year?

Short Story: Doors Should Creak

Rating: 18
Universe: Unnamed Steampunk
Word Count: 961
Summary: Kirill and Niko enjoy an intimate session—complete with unexpected visitors

“How’s that?”  Niko’s breath burned against Kirill’s shoulder.

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The Obligatory New Year's Post

Happy new year!  I hope 2014 will prove prosperous and full of joy for everyone.

I have a habit of making resolutions, some of which I stick to and some of which I miss by miles--and then there are the ones I completely forgot about until after the event.  I can't tell you what last year's were, because I can't actually find them.

This, too, is pretty normal.

So in an effort to keep my resolutions somewhere I can find them (seriously, I'm sure I wrote them on Tumblr last year but I'll be damned if they're there now), I decided to write them here.  There aren't many.  There never are.

   1. Read at least 20 books this year.

I managed over 20 last year (it feels weird writing that on the 1st January, when last year was only yesterday), although it was partially with the help of the Goodreads 2013 reading challenge.  I signed up to read 10 books in a year, which I hoped was manageable.  In the end 22.  So hopefully, if I resolve to read 20 I'll manage 30.

   2. Write one story a week.

I already try, but I have this terrible habit of writing stories in my head that never end up on paper--I already imagined them from start to finish, why would I write it?  But that doesn't get anyone anywhere, does it?

   3. Finish some of the story arcs I've left hanging.

Related to 2., but slightly tangential.  In particular it's both parts of the Unravel AU, the spectrum Three Graces arc, the second Unravel NaNo Present Day arc and the last chapter of the Steampunk novella.  I should make a plan of attack for those.

   4.  Finish five computer/console games.

I say this every year and I'm pretty sure I didn't succeed last year.  I've got this awful habit of never actually finishing games, either because I lose interest (I have a week's window to get things done or it'll be put off, possibly indefinitely) or because the game in question is enormous and I have to stop playing it or I will get absolutely nothing else done (Borderlands 2).  Let's see if I can finish some this year.

   5.  Try not to be such a whiny and self-pitying shite.

Pretty self-explanatory.  Although to be honest I think I failed that one with the simple resolution.

Let's see if I can check off any of these by the end of the year.

Short Story: Mistletoe

Rating: 15
Universe: Unravel
Word Count: 99
Summary: There's the conventional place to hang mistletoe, and then there's Alex's.

 “Don’t I get a kiss under the mistletoe?”

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Short Story: Christmas Tree

Rating: 15
Universe: Unnamed Steampunk
Word Count: 2,791
Summary: Niko and Kirill go Christmas tree shopping, but end up meeting people Kirill would sooner forget.

“It’s early enough that it shouldn’t be too crowded, but will you be alright?” Niko asked, twisting to look over his shoulder as he lifted his shirt over his head. “I know you’re still a bit.. with... after...”

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Short Story: Tinsel and Hooks

Rating: PG
Universe: Unnamed Steampunk
Word Count: 1,152
Summary: Kirill asks Niko about Christmas decorations, only to find he has none—except it turns out that's no impediment to actually having any, when your lover is a talented mechanic.

Kirill waited until Niko finished hammering the sheet of metal until he tried speaking, and even then it came out more quietly tentative than he’d hoped. “Um, Niko, where do you keep your Christmas decorations?”

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Short Story: Lost In Translation

Rating: G
Universe: Unnamed Steampunk
Word Count: 340
Summary: A sleepy Kirill would quite like Niko to read to him.

Kirill rolled over and blinked sleepily up at Niko. “What’re you reading?”

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